Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Day 138: And I wonder if I ever cross your mind?

Mood: Sad but Strong
Title Taken from the Song: Need You Now by Lady Antebellum
Date: May 18, 2011




Why is it that I see you when I least expect it?
Every time I see you my heart pops. 
Then I walk away pretending I didn't care
But I liked the fact that when I walk away, the thought of at least seeing you made me happy
because for some reason the universe put us together
in one room 
in one moment
in one second



I do not know what goes through your mind. 
When we don't talk to each other, I miss you so much
I need to know that you are okay.
But I can not talk to you even if I desperately want to
Because talking to you would mean going through the same agony I've experienced.
I want to let you go. 
I need to let you go



And, if it means being happy for you even if someone else makes you happy, 
Even if it means being happy just by hearing people talk about you
Even if it means being happy just seeing you from afar, 
Then I will suck it up and be happy because you are happy. 



I love you unconditionally.
Even when you were at your meanest. 
Even when you ALWAYS end things the wrong way. 
Even when you can not love me back due to our circumstances. 



I love you unquestioningly. 
I can deny this repeatedly but people will always see this link between us
My heart for you must be on my sleeve for everyone to see. 
I can not deny it anymore. 



I love you unfailingly. 
No matter how hard I try to stop it. 
You simply exist in my heart and mind



All those years of my head browbeating my heart into submission
All those years of my heart silently accepting whatever my mind commands...
They're all gone



My heart has trumped my head this time. 
I don't regret anything. 
I enjoyed every second of having you as part of my life



I am a bit ready to let go of you now. 
I don't need to tell you all these anymore. 
I must admit, in the past, I wanted to say goodbye to you badly. 
Because I wanted to tell you everything. 



I'll just send this message to the world. 
But you will be in my heart forever.

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